Thought
by Bellamoine
Summary: When Edward leaves in New Moon, Bella goes through shock and depression. However, as she reflects on the situation, she realizes that her case might not be quite so hopeless as she thought. So, she decides to act.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement, yo.

When Edward leaves in New Moon, Bella is goes through shock and depression. However, as she reflects on the situation, she realizes that her case might not be quite so hopeless.

Nothing.

Bella lay on her bed, staring blankly at the ceiling. Charlie sat in a chair beside her, holding her hand and speaking softly to his only daughter. Words didn't reach Bella's mind. Nothing could reach her mind – the only thing inside her head was the mantra that had been repeating for the last 48 hours, since he left. "He's gone. He's gone. He's gone." The sun moved across the room, signaling the passage of time as Bella lay on the bed. Charlie came and went, at one point bringing a man in a white coat with him. The man spoke to Bella too, but she couldn't make sense of his words, much less reply. The sun disappeared, and after a few hours the moon took its place, shining through her always open window. Eventually, Bella fell asleep, but rest eluded her; she spent the whole night chasing after Edward in her dreams, never able to catch up to him as he walked away through the woods and left her behind.

As the numbness gradually died away over the next several hours, it was replaced with a new feeling – pain. How could he? How could he leave her like this? He loved her. He had said so, time and time again. Confusion built up along with the pain. It made no sense. Even if he hadn't loved her, she'd thought Edward was a better man than this. Leaving her alone in the woods after abruptly dumping her? The composed, courteous Edward she knew – or thought she had known - wouldn't do that to anyone, much less someone he'd cared about, at least at some point. How could he leave so suddenly; not even attempt to break it to her gently or take her back to Charlie?

As she sought for an explanation for the senselessness of it all, a part of Bella simply despaired. This part of her mind told her that her search for logic was pointless , that the logic was simply in her undesirability, that someone as wonderful as Edward had every right to leave at any given moment with no explanation. The rest of her mind, however, refused to accept that. Memories fluttered behind her now closed eyelids – the first time Edward had smiled at her. The day at the meadow, when he'd kissed her and told her that he loved her. The first time she'd met his family, and their smiling faces. As she recalled each kind word, each worried gesture, each note left behind to assure her that he'd be back soon, it made less and less sense. What had gone wrong? When had he stopped caring?

Abruptly, Bella's mind flashed back to another memory. She flew back against the wall as Edward shoved her away from the Jasper, who snarled and writhed as he tried to escape the grasping vampires who held him back. Then, afterwards, Edward taking her home. Trying to convince him that it wasn't his fault. The distance in his eyes in the next few days. That was when it had started.

Now that she had isolated the beginning of the distance between herself and Edward, Bella tried to analyze it. Sitting up, she exhaled shakily as her head spun. She'd been in bed for days, without any food intake and only the water that Charlie had been tipping into her mouth, and her weakness surprised her. Seeing a glass of water on her bedside table, she reached over to grab it. It felt heavy to her weakened arm, and she drank the whole thing down, grimacing at the stale taste. Returning the glass to the table, she saw a plate with a peanut butter sandwich on it. Ravenous, Bella grabbed it and took a bite. It tasted like the best thing she'd ever eaten, and Bella wolfed it down in a matter of seconds. Bella's stomach squirmed at the sensation of food entering it, and the sandwich and water seemed to slosh uncomfortably inside of her. Standing up unsteadily, she walked over to her bookshelf and randomly grabbed a novel to serve as a writing pad. Pain stabbed through her as she looked at the book she had grabbed. Romeo and Juliet. Shoving the book back on the shelf, Bella carefully removed a more innocent title, "Crime and Punishment", retrieved a paper and pen, and sat down on her bed.

Thinking about the last few weeks, Bella began to jot down notes on the paper. Initial problem: Birthday party disaster. After that, there'd just been the coldness, the inexplicable distance that she'd put down to him feeling (unjustly) guilty for the whole thing. After James had attacked her in Phoenix, she'd seen a similar look in his eyes when they spoke in the hospital.

After James. When he'd also been feeling guilty. Bella dropped the pen. A part of her mind started flying with hope even while her broken heart cried out in pain. Could he have left just because he felt guilty? He'd always worried that being around him was bad for her, was dangerous for her, was preventing her from having a "normal human life", whatever that was supposed to mean. "And now," she reflected to herself, grimacing at the irony, "I have no life at all…" It was true. Oh, she'd be able to stumble through for Charlie and Renee, but Bella knew herself well enough to realize that things couldn't be the same after this. She could see her life stretching out before her, long as Edward had always wanted it to be, and just as empty as it felt right now. The thought sickened her. The idea of spending the rest of her life knowing what she had felt, and what she had thought Edward felt, and knowing she wouldn't have it again was depressing to the point of hopelessness. Thinking about it brought an ache to her chest, as though her heart had been ripped out and the wound left behind was bleeding into the empty cavity.

Bella almost succumbed to the pain, but shook her head violently, determined to retain her ability to think clearly. Her heart might be lost, but she would keep her mind. Guilt. That was what she had been thinking about. He had always had a penchant for making everything his fault. She loved his responsibility and the meticulous care he took of everything in his life, but the man really didn't understand the idea of a no-fault accident. Jasper had attacked because she'd gotten a papercut, of all things. She remembered assuring him that it could have happened to anyone, that it wasn't his fault, that it was fine and she was safe. Nothing had taken away the look in his eyes, and after that he had gone cold on her.

"I'm not good for you, Bella," he'd told her before leaving; before he'd started calmly stating his indifference for her. Bella winced and redirected her thoughts from the words he'd spoken, the words that had reinforced every poor thought she'd ever had about herself, every teenage fear that she was unwanted, unexceptional, unloved. He hadn't looked at her as she said it, but now she was starting to wonder why. Why couldn't he meet her eyes? Edward nearly never lost his composure, and she couldn't imagine why he wouldn't look her in the eye, unless he thought she would see something there. And then there were his last words, the promise he'd tried to extract that she keep herself safe- the kiss to her forehead. Were these typical behaviors of someone who didn't care? If Edward was honestly as indifferent to her as he'd professed to be, these actions made little sense.

Bella made a decision. She refused to spend the rest of her life mourning the loss of a man who might still care about her. She wasn't going to be a Juliet. If Romeo did still care, she wasn't going to impale herself on a dagger just yet. And that is why Charlie found his daughter a few minutes later pale and tearstained, but out of bed sitting at her computer and composing an email rather than staring into the distance or sobbing.

Please R and R. Srsly.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

"Bella!" Charlie's voice was joyous with relief as he took in the sight of his daughter sitting at her computer. Turning to him, she gave a half-smile. "Hey, Dad." Awkwardly, her father walked over and wrapped her in a hug. The two of them weren't too big on physical displays of affection, but Charlie kept her in his arms for several seconds, holding her tightly as he whispered, "I'm glad to see you out of bed. I was worried about you- I almost called Renee and told her to come up here and get you."

"Don't. There's no reason she should have to suffer through this." Bella replied seriously. Charlie grimaced at this, and Bella felt guilty for making him go through her pain with her. After a few minutes of stilted conversation where Bella worked hard to keep an optimistic tone and to keep the heartache out of her voice, Charlie seemed assured that his daughter was going to be alright. He gave her another hug, and she turned back to her computer and the message she was composing.

Dear Alice,

I know he's probably forbidden you from contacting me. I don't care. I want you to know that if you don't email me back, I'm going to take the money from my college fund and buy an airline ticket to Italy. Edward mentioned something about the Volturi who live there, and I'm going to go find them and ask them to change me if you don't reply to this within 24 hours. You should be getting a vision of that right about now, because I've decided, and I'm not planning on changing my mind. I don't believe the story Edward fed me when you all left, because if it's true he's got to be the shallowest, most manipulative jerk in the history of mankind (vampirekind?), and, Alice, I can't believe that of him. It doesn't make sense, and I'm not just going to sit here and not do anything because I'm only human. Well, Alice, I hope to hear from you soon. You know what happens if I don't.

Your friend,

Bella Swan

P.S. Don't tell him about this email. I mean it, Alice. In fact, don't tell anyone. You're the only one I trust to keep your thoughts out of his head.

Sending the email, Bella felt almost happy. At least this way she would know for sure. If Edward really didn't care about her, she'd go back to mourning the metaphorical end of her life in peace and assured knowledge. And, if he did still care and this was some stupid heroic stunt he was pulling, she was going to track him down and smack him right across his perfect, marble face. Unable to stand the tension of being near her computer waiting for Alice's reply, Bella grabbed a towel and headed off to the shower.

As the hot water cascaded down her back, Bella started to hum to herself, only to stop abruptly when she realized the tune she was humming- her lullaby. Whatever her hopes for the situation she was in, she was in far too tenuous a situation to spend too much time thinking about him. It would only make it worse if she was wrong.

After she got out of the shower, Bella dried off, toweled her hair and quickly wrapped an elastic around it to keep it off her neck. Putting on a pair of sweatpants Alice had bought her and an old gym shirt from her school in Phoenix, Bella made her way downstairs, refusing to even look at her computer. Resolved to kill the time remaining before she could reasonably go to bed in a few hours, Bella made her way into the kitchen almost robotically and started to cook a fish fry, trying not to think about anything.

Cooking the fish in one pan, Bella pulled out some potatoes and started to slice them and toss them into a frying pan with some oil and salt. Leaving them to sizzle in the pan, Bella made her way over to the fridge and assembled the few remaining fresh vegetables into a rather limited salad. Setting the table and bringing the now-hot skillets over to the table, Bella walked into the living room. "Charlie, dinner's ready," she declared. Charlie turned around quickly, looking surprised but pleased.

"Thanks, Bella! I've missed your cooking the last few days. I'd forgotten what it was like when I fed myself…" following her into the kitchen, he sat down at the kitchen table and dished up. Fortunately, Charlie was content to chatter about the game he was watching – Apparently the Raiders were crushing some other team whose name Bella missed, despite terrible calling by the worst pair of refs Charlie had ever seen. She nodded, hmmed, and tried to look appropriately indignant at the injustice afflicted by what Charlie referred to as "the blindest pair of Zebras" ever to walk onto a court. After dinner, she cleaned up and then excused herself to bed.

Making her way back up the stairs, she felt another pang. This was the time of night when she rushed up the stairs, claiming to be an early-to-bedder so that she could spend more time with Edward. She could see the scene in her mind; she would walk upstairs, call down a goodnight to Charlie, and rush in to her room, where Edward would be waiting. He might be lounging on her bed, or sitting at her desk, or sitting in the rocking chair in the corner. Once he had even hidden in her closet, laughing silently when she almost screamed upon opening the door.

This time, there would be nobody. Bella knew that, intellectually, but it still hurt to open the door and find her room completely, heartbreakingly empty. Walking towards her bed, Bella couldn't help but sneak a glance at her computer, where she had left open her inbox. Nothing. Sighing, Bella crawled into her bed, pulled out the copy of Crime and Punishment she had been using as a writing pad earlier and read about murder, guilt, and redemption until she fell asleep.

When Bella awoke the next morning, her eyes were immediately drawn to her computer. It was asleep, and her screensaver was running. Looking at it, Bella felt a momentary shock. The screensaver itself was simple enough – the default scrolling text, customized to a flowing cursive script, showing the time (9:23) and the message that had been programmed into it. It was the text that Bella didn't expect to see. Edward had promised to leave no sign behind, and yet, scrolling across her screen was the screensaver message he'd left for her several months ago before leaving on a hunting trip. "Be safe…"

Edward couldn't have forgotten, could he? He'd done a thorough enough job of removing her other possessions. The stereo, the cd, the pictures of them together- they were all gone. Even the SD card from her camera was missing. Either the perfect-memoried vampire had forgotten something, or he'd left the message for her on purpose, adding to her theory that he must still care at least a little. Though she was loath to stop staring at the beautiful words, Bella twitched the mouse and brought up her inbox, refreshing the window. One new message. In her hurry to open it, Bella's fluttering fingers twitched and accidentally opened the message beneath, which informed her that she was the winner of a free Ipod, courtesy of a website she'd never heard of. Clicking back quickly, she carefully opened the message from Alice Cullen.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Disclaimer: No profit, property rights of Ms. Meyer recognized, etc.

…_Clicking back quickly, she carefully opened the message from Alice Cullen._

Bella's breath sped up as her eyes flickered across the screen, reading as rapidly as she could.

Dear Bella,

I'm so, so sorry about this. I love my brother, but honestly – Edward is one of the most stubborn people I've ever met. I think it's because of his gift – he assumes he knows everything just because he knows some things most of us don't. Really, though…he goes on about how Rosalie's stubbornness was enhanced when she changed, but he could give that girl a pretty good run for her money.

Hold your horses, Bella. Don't do anything you're going to regret. Running off to Italy would be an incredibly stupid decision… not only do you not know where to look for the Volterra, they'd be just as likely to drink you dry as to change you. Even if they did, they'd hardly be likely to be very supportive of a choice to follow the "Carlisle diet." Please, please, please, Bella. Don't go to Italy. I'll see it if you decide to, you know.

On to what you said about Edward. You know Jasper went away for a while after your birthday party, so he couldn't monitor how he was feeling. Edward just kept insisting to the rest of us that we had to leave, that our being around wasn't good for you, that the relationship wasn't worth you dying. I know your relationship wasn't a lie; that was clear to everyone. I've known Edward for decades, and there is no way he would mess with a girl like that. My best guess is that the idiot's trying to pull some martyr move sacrificing his happiness – and yours, I'm assuming – because of his whole "soulless demons from the pit of Hades" bit.

Anyways, I can't exactly ask him about it. He ran off almost immediately after we got up to Alaska. As much as I love him, that might be a good thing for the moment. Jasper could hardly talk while he was around – I've never seen him that depressed before, and he was just empathizing with Edward. He feels terrible, Bella.

This is the part you aren't going to like. My dear brother is clearly not acting rationally at the moment (or at least, certainly not intelligently.) I don't know what would happen if he found out we were in contact or anything. I'd hope he wouldn't do anything really stupid, but so far he isn't giving me a lot of faith for that path of action. I really think you should just sit tight. I can't tell what Edward's going to do right now – I keep getting flashes of different futures, but they're too vague to do anything with. He hasn't made up his mind, and I think he needs some time to sort himself out.

Please, Bella. Don't do anything stupid. Whether or not you and Edward work out, the rest of us care about you too.

Love,

Alice Cullen

Finishing the message, Bella exhaled a breath she seemed to have been holding in for an eternity. Her mind buzzed as she strove to absorb all Alice's information at once. Rereading the message, she tried to consider each part logically and clearly. She arrived at a few main points. First off, Alice thoughts were running along a similar vein to her earlier hope- that Edward couldn't have simply stopped loving her, that there had to be some other motive behind his abrupt departure, and that that motive was probably his misplaced guilt and self-hatred. About the last part Alice was correct. Bella did _not_ like the idea of sitting in Forks waiting for –what, precisely? For Edward to finish his noble-self-sacrificing stint? Would that even happen? One of the things Bella loved about him was his ability to deny himself… after all, it was why she existed. It had annoyed her at times in the past, but this was a whole new level. The idea that he might never come back was crippling. The idea that he would be miserable too made it even worse. Unbearable. Bad enough for her to have to live an empty life if he were moving on and finding a vampire love he could really be with. So much worse for them both to be separately living empty lives, if that was indeed how he felt without her. A stab of anger made its way through her loneliness. How could he do this to her, to both of them?

Muttering under her breath, she made her way down to the kitchen and poured herself a bowl of lucky charms. By the time she'd finished her cereal, she'd made a decision. If she ever found Edward, if they ever managed to end up together after this colossal disaster he was putting them through, she would make some conditions for their relationships. Wryly, Bella realized that Edward's stubborn actions were leading to her own increased stubbornness. Edward might be older and have more experience in life and in the supernatural world than she did, but if he came back, Bella was going to have a hand in the decision making. _If you ever even see him again, that is_, her pessimistic, fearful self whispered. Bella shoved the voice out as it threatened to engulf her in loneliness and despair.

Returning the milk to the fridge, she found a note from Charlie.

Bella,

I needed to go into the station. I missed a few days while you were ill and my paperwork's really stacked up. I know it's Saturday, I'll try to get home in time for dinner… sorry. Call if you need anything.

Dad

Washing her dishes, Bella was pondering what to do with her day when a knock sounded on her door. Rinsing the soapy water off her hands, Bella wiped them on her jeans and made her way over to the front of the house. Opening the door, she found herself face to face with Jacob Black, whose eyes widened at the sight of her.

"Bella!" He exclaimed, "I'm so glad to see you doing better! I was so worried when Charlie called for a search party, and then when Sam found you… Bells, you looked horrible." At this last comment, Bella grimaced, always glad to hear of times when she'd looked less than her best. Seeing her face, Jacob quickly backpedaled. "Er, you know… from being outside in the woods and crying and all! Not because you're not good looking or something… or… shoot. You know what I mean." The younger boy's expression was so uncomfortable that a smile twitched up the corners of Bella's mouth.

"Come on in, Jacob. " The Quileute followed her in to the living room, plopping down into Charlie's seat on the couch, sprawling out his lanky frame while Bella sat on the armchair with her legs tucked up and her arms folded around them.

"So," Jacob said, "I know this is maybe kind of weird since we haven't really hung out lately…" Bella felt a little bit guilty. That was really her fault. After the ballet studio fight, she'd been clinging to Edward even more than usual, and she hadn't seen Jake since the Prom where he'd been tasked by Billy to come and warn her away from her vampire boyfriend. "…Anyways," he continued, "I figured you'd be pretty down after the whole breakup with Edward –" Bella winced, " –so I came to see if you wanted to come spend the day up at La Push with me. It's almost sunny out, and it's still warm enough to sit down by the beach. That is, if you're interested…" he trailed off hopefully. Lacking anything else to do and anxious for any activity that would get her mind off of Edward and Alice and vampires in general, Bella quickly assented, almost smiling when Jacob's face lit up at her agreement.

He jumped up from the old couch and came over to grab her hand and pull her out of her chair. Bella looked up at him in surprise. When had he gotten so _tall? _When they'd seen each other at Prom, he'd been a bit taller than Bella but still shorter than Edward; now the young man towered over her. "Sheesh, Jake," she commented as he pulled her out the door over to his Rabbit – finished now, with the part he'd earned from Prom. "How tall are you?'

"Mmm, about six four, last I checked," he told her as he revved up the car. "Maybe a bit taller. Going through a bit of a growth spurt lately."

"No kidding," Bella muttered. Her own 5 feet 6 inches seemed rather punier than usual. Jacob chatted happily as they drove down the road to the reservation, and Bella was content to listen to him rattle off information about school, drama on the reservation, how Sam Uley was an annoying goody-two shoes that all the elders of the tribe were in love with, and his current project – using a leaf blower, roto-tiller motor, some plywood and plastic sheeting to make a hovercraft. Eventually, they pulled up to the beach, where they got out of the car. Jacob opened up the trunk and pulled out a basket and a blanket. "Sitting on the pebbles is not actually comfortable for any significant period of time," he explained to her. Sitting the supplies next to some driftwood that lay on the beach, he beckoned her forward and the two began a rambling walk down the beach.

For a while they chatted about nothing in particular, pausing every few minutes when one of them found a round, flat rock suitable for skipping across the relatively calm water of an almost-clear day. After a while, though, Jacob started trying to bring Bella into the conversation, and that didn't work out as well. She tried to respond thoughtfully, but she was honestly having trouble focusing. It seemed like she was directing most of her brainpower towards avoiding thoughts of Edward. Eventually, they made their way back to the beach, and Jacob opened up the basket to reveal cold-cut sandwiches and sodas along with a Ziploc of chocolate chip cookies. Sitting down on the blanket, Bella took the offered sandwich and started to eat.

"So," Jacob began in between bites, "Are you okay? You seem a little out of it still." Bella resisted the urge to snort. _A little out of it?_ Well, that was one way to put it, if by "a little out of it" you meant "completely terrified by the possibility of never seeing Edward again, hurting from the fear that he really didn't care despite all the proof, itching to do something, and irritated at Alice for telling her to 'sit tight' for an undetermined period of time." But that wasn't exactly something she could tell Jacob. She felt fairly comfortable around him, but she wasn't about to start spilling her guts to him about her possibly-ex vampire-boyfriend.

"I'm alright," she settled on. He seemed to be waiting for her to elaborate, but Bella had no further explanation. Eventually, they packed up the remnants of their picnic and headed back to the Rabbit. Avoiding the topic of the Cullens, they chatted as he drove her back to his house. Billy, who seemed in far too good a mood about Bella's breakup to suit her, greeted them warmly and welcomed them in to the small house. There they stayed for a few hours, Bella sitting on the floor in Jacob's room where he was sketching out plans for his hovercraft and trying to explain them to her. Eventually, Jacob stood up and walked over to the wall of the small room to flip on the lights, and Bella glanced at the clock, surprised that it was getting dark already. Seven o'clock.

"Oh," Bella exclaimed, grabbing up her jacket and rushing towards the door, "Jacob, I have to get home… Charlie will be home soon if he isn't already, and I need to cook dinner and he doesn't know where I am…"

Jacob's face fell slightly, but he smiled quickly at her, replying, "Yeah, we better get you back down to Forks. Don't want Charlie thinking we've kidnapped you or some such." They drove back down to Forks in the setting sun and Jacob pulled into the driveway to drop her out. Before she could get out of the car, however, he put the car in park, leaned over and put a hand on her arm. "Bella," he said earnestly, his dark eyes boring into hers, "I just want you to know that you deserve so much better than what that jerk did to you. I'm here for you, and I want to be the one to give it to you." Shocked, Bella sat stunned for a minute, then muttered something unintelligible and ran inside, leaving Jacob and his confusing revelation behind.

So, what did you think? Let me know in a review, please!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: No profit, derivative work of S. Meyer's Twilight Series.

So, this chapter isn't the MOST exciting thing ever, but that's not how life works. You can't simply go gallivanting from one moment of adventure to the next. Anyways, I've already started writing the next chapter. Maybe if I get some reviews I will be super motivated and post it later today... (hint, hint).

Chapter 4:

After Jacob's declaration of his intentions, Bella ran inside and up the stairs. Within 60 seconds, she was in the shower, standing under the pounding water of the new high-pressure showerhead Charlie had installed and wishing she could wash away the last few minutes. It had been almost a good day. She doubted she'd be having any really good ones in the near future, but it had been going alright. Being around Jacob made her…almost happy.

And then he had to go and pull something like that. She'd had an inkling that the Quileute boy had some sort of crush on her, but really, to bring it up now? Edward had barely been gone a week! How could he possibly think she'd be open to such attentions at this point? The very idea that she could be so unattached from her past, even if she didn't have any hope for her and Edward in the future... it was almost offensive.

Still, as the warm water worked out the knots in her back, Bella was forced to acknowledge that it was a sweet gesture. She was lucky to have a friend like Jacob, even if he seemed to be interested in more than friendship. She sighed. It was going to make things more complicated, though. Bella knew enough about this sort of thing from Mike and Tyler following her around at school. Friendship got much more complicated and much more annoying when there were other feelings involved.

A few minutes later, Bella was downstairs in the kitchen, already in sweats and a tshirt while a towel kept her wet hair off her back. Opening the freezer, she threw a frozen pizza in the oven, feeling sort of like a cop out, but realizing that she was actually fairly exhausted. True, she hadn't done anything particularly strenuous, but after the last few days of inactivity, her trek up and down the beach with Jacob felt like a lot more work than it usually would. Setting a timer for the pizza, Bella set some plates on the table and went in to the family room to wait for Charlie to get home. Sitting down on the couch, she noticed that it retained the smell of whatever aftershave or deodorant Jacob had been wearing. It was a nice scent, she decided, but nothing to compare to Edward's. Grabbing a throw off the back of the couch, she spread it over her legs and turned on the tv, flipping through channels until she found the Discovery Channel showing a documentary about the reconstruction of an Italian monastery. _Should be safe enough,_ she decided. After all, it was unlikely that there would be any painful love stories involved in a monastery.

"Volterra is a peaceful town nestled in Tuscan Italy," the narrator droned in a pleasantly European voice. "The restoration of the _Pieta del Figlio" _monastery is a work that is now nearly completed after over a decade of work. The beautiful frescoes on the walls of the main sanctuary depict…" Bella's eyes drooped and she fell asleep.

The sound of an alarm and Charlie's shouted insults at the device producing it woke her abruptly. Smoke billowed from the kitchen, and Bella jumped up and ran in to see Charlie standing on a chair in the kitchen, waving a dishrag in front of the smoke detector while the smell of burnt food emanated from the open oven. Rushing over to the window above the sink, Bella threw it open before going and opening the front door too. The alarm stopped, and Bella returned to the kitchen, where Charlie was still standing, posing ridiculously with his rag. Bella burst out laughing at the sight, and after a moment, Charlie joined in.

"I didn't want to wake you up, so I thought I'd just finish getting dinner ready. Guess that didn't work so well. I vote we go out and grab some burgers," Charlie volunteered as he stepped off the chair.

"Sounds good," Bella replied. "I think the house is going to need a while to recover from this…" Grabbing her now smoke-scented hoodie, she followed Charlie out to the cruiser.

When Bella got home, she was preoccupied. She'd kept busy today, wasn't that what you were supposed to do when you were waiting for something? Yet now, at the end of the day, it seemed as if all the anxiety she'd been avoiding all day was piling on to her. Bidding Charlie goodnight, she climbed up the stairs to her room and sat down at her desk. Opening her email, she typed out a quick, optimistic-sounding response to Renee's latest inquiry as to her wellbeing in the wake of her unfortunate circumstances. Then, she reopened the email Alice had sent her and read through it. Something was bothering her about the message, and on her second read through, she caught it.

Alice had made a typo. "…not only do you not know where to look for the Volterra, they'd be just as likely to drink you dry as to change you," read her message. Clearly, Alice had meant to tell her that she didn't know where to look for the Volutri. And yet, she'd made a typo. A vampire. That seemed very odd to Bella. And it looked like the autocorrect had plugged in another word- whatever Volterra was. It seemed really familiar, as if she ought to know what it was, but after a few seconds of thinking, Bella drew a blank. Opening a browser, she googled the word.

Volterra. A small town in Tuscany, Italy. The documentary she'd seen the first few minutes of flew to the forefront of her mind. Volterra. Volterra, Italy. Pulling up a few of the websites, she read that the town was famous for its cathedral, its clocktower, and the annual Saint Marcus' Day festival held there to celebrate the eradication of vampires from the city. So it wasn't a typo; it was a Freudian slip!

This had to be it. Bella stood up and started pacing across the room. Alice had told her to stay put, but now knowing exactly where she needed to go to find other vampires, the temptation to do so was extreme. She couldn't just up and leave, though… She'd give it a little while, 'sit tight' as Alice had told her to, and see if anything developed.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: No profit, copyrighted characters not mine, etc. etc.

A/N: So, this is the last chapter I'm giving for free. This chapter is being posted with the story having 2 reviews. Thank you to those two reviewers. If ya'all want another chapter, please review. I'll post the chapter when two things happen: I finish writing it (and I'm fairly quick) and I have received at least 2 more reviews. And now, enjoy.

Time went by. Bella went back to school, fending off questions about her personal life by assuring her friends that she was alright and refusing to discuss the breakup with anyone who asked her. She saw Jacob a few times. Now that she was back in school with makeup work to do, she didn't have as much free time, but there were a few games that week, and Jacob seemed only too happy to drive Billy down to Charlie's so that the two old friends could watch them together.

Bella initially found it awkward to be around Jacob after his previous declaration of his affections, but he didn't openly discuss it with her again, probably realizing that he'd kind of freaked her out by bringing it up before. He was a little more openly flirtatious than he had been in the past, trying to put his arm around her on the couch or hug her for a little longer than usual when it was time for him to take Billy home, but Bella didn't mind too much.

After all, Edward wasn't here; what she did while he was off abandoning her was really her own concern, and she liked Jacob. Not the same way he liked her, but she enjoyed being around him and found that being around him helped her anxiety. She was less impatient about the future when she was able to stay occupied in the present. So, despite the awkward implications of his feelings, Bella wished he was around more often. After he left and she had finished her homework for the night, Bella had nothing to do but lie in her bed and wait for sleep – and her nightmares – to come.

Every night, her pessimistic self seemed to invade her dreams and fill them with images and scenes designed to make her feel terrible. One night she would have a dream that she was 30, still living with Charlie, never having gone to college or had another boyfriend, still waiting for Edward to come back. The next night, Edward and the Cullens would return to Forks in her dream, plus one addition – A beautiful brunette vampire who clung to Edward while he watched her with soft eyes and a loving smile. Another common theme was her abandonment in the forest. Bella would simply lie on the forest floor, unable to move while the darkness descended, rain started falling, and she remained alone. Nobody came to help her in her dream, and she simply lay, despairing, on the ground until the grasses and shrub grew up and covered her body.

When she got up the Saturday morning several weeks after Edward left, the first day of Thanksgiving break, it was 5:27am. After waking up from a nightmare, Bella had given up on trying to sleep more. Moving over to her computer, she booted it up and opened a web browser and a word document. The document was 15 pages long and growing. It was Bella's chronicle of the time since Edward had left. When she couldn't get the memories out of her head, she would come and write them down – catharsis. When she started getting antsy about waiting around for Edward to come to his senses, she'd start looking up ticket prices to Rome and finding bus routes to Volterra. She'd inserted a table showing the financial effects of such a visit on her meager college fund. She could afford it, she thought, but it would hurt. That was one of the things holding her back. She knew Charlie and Renee were both going to try to pay for her college, and neither of them could really afford that much; Bella was trying to save what she could to help out. Of course, there was the fact that Bella had always hoped, and was still trying to hope, that by the time she went to college, it would be as a part of a family where money was no object.

Typing the date of the entry, she started typing up a description of the dream she'd had. It had been fairly typical – Edward leaving with another girl, telling her that she was just a human, and not even a particularly special one. She wrote it out, saved the document, and quit, wishing the subject could be closed as simply in her mind. Opening her email, Bella was surprised to see the new message icon. Clicking on the message, she broke into a grin at the address it came from. Alice had written, for the first time since her response to Bella's initial email.

Dear Bella,

Sorry to leave you hanging for so long. I've been trying to get ahold of Edward so Carlisle and I can talk some sense in to him, but he won't answer our phone calls. We don't know exactly where he is at the moment, so we can't approach him in person. Sorry. We're going to keep trying, but finding Edward when he doesn't want to be found and talking to him when he doesn't want contact with us is going to be difficult at best. I don't know how long he's planning on staying away from the family.

Some good news for you now, though. The other day, I was shopping at the mall in Denali – (I found the cutest shoes, by the way. Little black pumps that are basically the most adorable thing you'll ever see), anyways, I was shopping and I got a vision. It was just a flash, but it was promising. I've been trying to watch you and Edward, and so far it's mostly been him moping in an unidentifiable room somewhere and you going about your life as normal. When the vision hit me, though, I saw you two together. It only lasted for a few minutes and then the future changed back to what I've been seeing for the last 3 weeks, but it could be a good sign. Edward decided, even if it was only for a little bit, that he was going to go back to Forks. Now if he can just make that decision and stick with it.

I think he's weakening in his resolve to stay away. Give it a few more months, and we'll be able to get him back. I'm almost positive. He's a strong, stubborn guy, but I don't know – I feel optimistic. No promises, of course.

Anyways, Carlisle and Esme and I are going to keep trying to get him to pick up his phone, but in the mean time, keep safe. Don't do anything stupid; Edward will kill me when he comes back.

~Alice

A few more _months_? Alice wanted her to sit around in stasis for a few more months. Bella was trying to make it through on a day-by-day basis right now. She was stumbling through with the help of her few friends who actually cared – mostly Jake and Angela, and because Charlie was worried that she still seemed less than happy with her life. Could she really keep this up for a few more months? It was taking a toll on her, already. Circles were starting to become more prominent under her eyes, and she hadn't gotten a good, solid night of sleep in weeks. She was losing weight bit by bit. She ate enough to keep herself going, but she'd lost her appetite. She was trying, but things weren't going so well.

After a few minutes of depression at the idea of several more empty months ahead of her, Bella started to view the situation with hints of a new emotion. She was slightly ticked. Oh, yes, Edward was probably doing what he thought was best, but the boy just always had to be right. Always had to be the hero. Bella was sick of it. Abruptly, she made up her mind. Now, she had to act quickly.

First order of business. Bella logged on to the website of the airline she had found with the cheapest tickets to Italy and found the soonest one. 2.5 hours to departure. Time to get moving. Rushing downstairs, she found Charlie already awake – a blessing. He was lifting weights in front of the TV, still looking bleary-eyed from his early morning.

"Charlie," Bella's voice was excited, more so than it had been in a long time. Charlie looked over at his daughter and was surprised to see her with actual color on her face, looking excited and slightly hopeful. It was an expression he was thrilled to see after such a long monotony of semi-depression. What she said next knocked him for a loop, though. "I'm going to Italy!" Charlie stared at her, dumbfounded, and she rushed on nervously. "You know how you said maybe I should get out of Forks for a little while, that maybe it would help me be happier? Ummm…. I know you were talking about Florida, but I found a cheap ticket, and I've really always wanted to go, and I'm leaving today at eight, and I'll be back for thanksgiving on Thursday!"

Charlie stared, shocked by his daughter's behavior. "Bella, you bought a _plane ticket_? For _today_? Without _telling_ me?"

Bella rushed on to assure him. "Oh, dad, I just bought it. It was a thanksgiving discount and I just couldn't let it pass by. Please, please, please?" Charlie was conflicted. On the one hand, he wasn't too thrilled at the idea of Bella gallivanting off to Italy alone. On the other hand, she looked so hopeful, and he didn't want to be the one to crush that. She was paying for it herself, she already had the ticket, and she was actually begging. This would be the first time she'd begged for, well, anything since she moved in with him. He couldn't deny her.

"Fine," he sighted. "But, Bella, next time you're about to go on a spur-of-the-moment transnational adventure, could you please check it out with me first?" Bella squeaked – a sound most unlike her – and rushed forward to hug Charlie. Then, she ran upstairs, calling back, "I have to pack! My flight leaves at eight!"

Bella was thrilled. She'd really hoped she wouldn't have to resort to a screaming exit like the time she'd fled to Phoenix. Throwing clothes and necessities into a duffel bag, Bella packed as fast as she could, got dressed, grabbed her wallet, and ran back downstairs. Five fifty five.

Charlie sat there at the kitchen table, dressed in his uniform. "Bells, I'm going to drive you to the airport. That way you won't have to pay for parking. I'll come pick you up when you get back."

Agreeing, Bella rushed out towards the cruiser, for once totally fine with driving in the cop car. Charlie followed, turning on the car and backing out of the driveway. Bella sat in the back seat, bouncing with anticipation. In her head she ran calculations. She'd decided to go to Italy at five thirty. Alice would never be able to get back to Forks before Bella made it off the ground, and if she tried to fly to Italy and intercept her, Bella would have a head start lengthened by the fact that the flight from Washington would be shorter. Hopefully it would be enough. Bella had no intentions of being caught by a little pixie and kept from her mission.

Her anxious, excited thoughts kept her occupied until they arrived at the SeaTac airport. At the security line, she kissed Charlie goodbye and promised that she'd call him when she arrived, reminding him that she'd have to keep their contact limited. Neither of them were anxious to pay for international phone bills.

The lines and waiting at the airport seemed to take forever, especially since Bella knew that Alice was acting, right now. When she boarded the flight at seven thirty, Bella could hardly sit still. Finally, the captain came on and announced the need for seatbelts, and the plane started Taxiing along the runway. Faster and faster they rolled, and suddenly Bella felt the uplift of the plane rising into the air. Looking out the window at the ground falling farther below her, she grinned. She was on her way.

Well, what did you think? Were you surprised? Did it make sense? What do you think Alice would do in this situation? Any thoughts?

Thanks for reading! (and reviewing, hopefully!)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: No profit, derivative work, etc. etc. S. Meyer owns her characters.

Bella twitched her way through the first leg of her flight – Sea Tac to Dulles (Washington, D.C.). She was exhausted, but she couldn't close her eyes for more than a few seconds before they popped open again and she started mentally planning her actions in Italy. When the plane touched down, she spent her short layover in a bookstore, purchasing an Italian phrasebook and a tourist's guide to Italy. She was positive that the Volturi would either have a translator or speak English themselves, but she still had to make her way to Volterra, and there was no point in taking chances.

A half hour later, she was on her next plane. This one would take her all the way across the Atlantic to London, where she would have an hour long layover before catching her final flight to Rome. Watching out the window of the plane, Bella saw the Atlantic Ocean for the first time in her life. After an hour, all she could see beneath her was the endless expanse of blue-grey ocean. She stared at it, watching it pass below her, each new moment indistinguishable from the last. She leaned her head against the side of the window and shut her eyes, drifting off to sleep.

For the first time in weeks, Bella had a good dream. It was simple enough, just her and Edward, sitting in the Cullen's house. Bella perched on the end of the piano bench, while Edward sat next to her, playing her lullaby softly with a gentle smile on his perfect lips. He looked over at Bella, not faltering in his playing, and whispered to her, "I love you, Bella." Bella awoke with a smile on her lips, feeling genuinely refreshed and grateful for a dream that gave her hope.

Shortly after Bella awoke, the plane touched down in London. Bella used the hour between her flights to get a real meal- she hadn't eaten anything but airplane food all day, and a sit-down meal was welcome. The last flight she spent alternately looking at her phrase book, glancing out the window, and worrying. The seat beneath her seemed to be far less comfortable than the previous ones, although Bella doubted this was actually the case. Likewise, the people talking and coughing around her probably weren't louder than usual, and the turbulence probably wasn't more frequent. Opening her backpack, she pulled out the other book she had bought – the Italian tour guide – and opened it to the V section. She read through the description and then browsed through the notable sights. One in particular caught her eye. The Casa di Moretti was not the most famous of the attractions on the list, and it was apparently not opened to the public for tours. However, the book advised walking past it so as to appreciate the exterior of the mansion that had been built over 400 years ago. It was the oldest standing building in the town, apparently.

That looked promising. Bella honestly hadn't thought too much about how she was going to actually find the Volturi, so she hoped this would be a good shot. Furthermore, she suddenly thought, what was she going to do when she FOUND the Volturi? Bella was beginning to realize that her impulsive decision was rather poorly planned. Still, she didn't regret it. For the first time since Edward left, she was doing something. She wasn't just sitting around waiting for him to get over himself or for Alice and Carlisle to do something. She was doing something.

First order of business was to get to Volterra. Bella would call the shuttle company listed in her book as soon as the plane was on the ground. She'd book on the next shuttle to Volterra. Bella found herself grateful for the time change. She was going to be jetlagged like crazy when she got to Italy, but the difference meant that it would be daytime there, and she wouldn't have to waste time overnight. She was sure Alice wouldn't. Of course, the girl she assumed was pursuing her would have no compunctions about stealing a car as soon as she hit the ground in Rome. This realization made Bella nervous. She knew she had a few hours' head start on Alice because flying from Denali would force Alice to take at least one extra flight, but would it be enough? Bella would love to see her friend again, but not if she was just going to be carted back to Forks and told to sit in the corner while the adults worked things out.

Furthermore, what exactly was she going to tell the Volturi if she found them and actually managed to get an audience without having her blood sucked out like a cherry juice box? She wasn't too eager to become a vampire under the watching eyes of the vampire world's mafia, but she didn't know that she'd have another way out. Becoming a vampire was a risk she was willing to take. Besides, once she was one of them, Edward would have to stop being all paranoid about keeping her safe. Assuming he still cared, that is. Bella wrenched her thoughts away from that path. If he didn't want her, she'd figure out her path later. In the meantime, it was time to figure out what she could tell the Volturi. After all, the first rule of the vampires was that their existence had to be kept a secret. A secret. A secret that Edward had told her. That he and his whole family had broken by allowing her into their world. Suddenly, Bella was worried. What if the Volturi blamed the Cullens for telling a human about the existence of vampires? She would have to keep mum about who had told her about vampires. Quickly, Bella concocted a new story. She was from Phoenix, rather than Forks. She was living with her mother and stepfather – might as well keep things simple, as close to the truth as possible.

But how could she explain her knowledge of the vampire world, down to knowing where to seek out the rulers of its world? James. The idea flew in to her mind. She'd tell the Volturi that she'd met James, and he'd told her about them. She rehearsed the story in her mind, forming a mental picture of what had supposedly happened to her, composing the words he would say to her, her responses, how she would learn of the other world within her own.

It was evening, and Bella was walking home after working the closing shift at the Phoenix North Public Library. As she approached the ballet studio near her house – Bella shivered as she thought of the place – a man suddenly appeared in front of her. He was pale, even more pale than she was, which she didn't think was possible in the Phoenix sun. He walked up to her.

"Hello, beautiful," he said smoothly. "What are you doing out alone at night? Care for some company?" Bella shuddered at the expression on the man's face and kept walking, ignoring him. Suddenly, he was touching her, grabbing her arm so hard she was sure it would bruise. Bella squeaked in terror, unable to scream. "Who are you? What do you want?" she choked out in terror.

Flashing a cruel grin as he lowered his mouth toward her neck, the stranger murmured, "Not much, darling. Just your blood. " Bella jerked back in revulsion. "What?"

Pulling back a few inches the man assumed a bored look. "Okay, sweetie, here's how it goes. I'm a vampire, you're a human. That makes you kind of like a cheeseburger. I'm hungry. Or, thirsty, as it were. You don't know about us because it's more convenient for us that way, and that's what's important. Oh, and also, because those meddlers over in Volterra would kill any of us who spilled the beans."

"Then, why are you telling me this?" Bella whispered, scared of the answer.

"Simple enough. Because I'm only telling you this for your own knowledge. It's not like you're going to be in any condition to repeat it. Even if you were, nobody would believe you. I could walk away right now, and none of the humans you told would ever think anything about it, except that their poor little friend had finally lost it. I do get some satisfaction from it, though. I find it more fun to hunt when my prey have a full and terrible knowledge of what is going to happen to them. And what is going to happen to you is death. Short, mostly painless death. I'll probably snap your spine and then drain you. Then, your body will have to be disguised. Dumped in a river tied to a rock, burned to ashes, something like that. I'm sure you understand," he continued smoothly, "It's nothing personal. Just dinnertime for James."

He leaned forward again, and Bella tried to muster the breath to scream, when a flood of light broke out over the dimming sidewalk. A few yards in front of them, the door of the ballet studio opened, and people flooded out. Little girls in tutus, holding pink roses while proud-looking parents and bored looking siblings trooped out behind, chatting to each other as they headed towards their cars. One of the families was headed straight towards them. James froze. He looked conflicted, then whispered to her, "Your lucky day, human. Guess you'll get to see if any of your little friends will believe your vampire story. Adieu". Then, just as suddenly as he had appeared, the vampire disappeared, and Bella was standing alone on the street.

That would work, Bella decided. He'd told her, been interrupted, decided not to risk it and that the human couldn't say anything that would condemn him, and run off in search of easier prey. That would be her story. James was dead, he couldn't condemn the Cullens, and it gave Bella a plausible reason for being alive and knowing about the existence of vampires. Satisfied, Bella dug her ipod out of her backpack, needing to get the dark thoughts of James out of her head. She hadn't used the thing in months. She hardly ever did, she was more of a radio/CD person. Besides, ever since Edward came in to her life, she was more interested in talking than listening to music, and afterwards it never seemed worth the effort. Now, though, she stuck her earbuds in and hit shuffle. Twenty minutes later, Bella was listening to the closing wail of the guitar solo from "We Will Rock You." The music faded out, and a new song flipped on. Piano notes filled her ears, and Bella's eyes flew open, staring down at the screen. "Lullaby" by Edward Cullen. How was it here? He'd taken everything when he left- her CD, her radio, her plane tickets, the pictures of them together. How had he missed this one? Going back in her mind, Bella realized that it was possible she'd never used the ipod in front of him. She'd only ever synced the thing once since she got to Forks, and it had been something she'd done to fill time on his hunting trip after her birthday. Thrilled with this new discovery, Bella leaned back in her seat, closed her eyes, and luxuriated in the sounds that enfolded her. When the song finished, Bella hit back and played it again. And again. And again. Eventually, she put it on repeat, realizing that she wouldn't be listening to anything else any time soon.

That's how she fell asleep for the second time that day. Eventually, she was woken up by the pilot telling them all that they needed to buckle their seatbelts for descent, and that it was currently 20 degrees Celsius and sunny in Rome, where the local time was 8:34 am. Bella reluctantly pulled the earplugs out and placed her ipod- now a treasure – carefully back in her backpack. Looking out her window, Bella could see the Italian city sprawling out beneath the plane as they approached the runway. Time to face the Volturi.

* * *

><p>AN: Hey guys! So, there's chapter 6! Bella's in Italy... What will happen next (*gasp*)? Anyways, this time I would like 5 reviews before posting, pleasles! Thanks so much to those who have reviewed so far, as well as to those who have favorited/alerted this story. By the way, I'm not sure yet, but the next chapter may possibly include the story's first physical appearance of a vampire. Oooooohhhh...


	7. Chapter 7

Edward was in Russia. Cold, empty, and miserable. Kind of like him, he mused darkly. He'd found his current residence, an abandoned farmhouse near a stretch of woods, a bit over a week ago and had been using the dilapidated building as his base. Most vampires wouldn't feel the need for a temporary home when on the move like he was, but living with Carlisle had kept him used to having a place to go back to, somewhere to keep his things. His things, which were actually really her things. Guilt crashed into his mind again at the sight of the picture of them together sitting next to her CD player and other personal items. He ran a finger over the glass frame of the photo, losing himself for a moment in the eyes of the beautiful girl he'd fallen in love with.

Oh, he'd fallen in love. And so had so many others. Masochistically, Edward wondered which of the many suitors she'd end up with, or maybe was already being held by. Mike never seemed to have much of a chance, and Tyler was too desperate, but the Black boy- Edward's mouth twitched in a grimace- Jacob Black had a chance. The thought of her in his arms, of her lips touching his, or her scent mingling with anyone's but his, was too much to take.

In a moment, Edward was on his feet, running out the door towards Moscow and the airport there- over 600 miles away, but less than a day's run for him. He would go back. He would find her, hold her, never let her go, and forget the consequences. No punishment could be worse than what he was enduring now, alone. His heart soared as he thought of returning to her. How could he ever have left? She was what made his existence feel like a life.

Then, as he flashed past a village, he glanced in a window. Only for a fraction of a second, but his senses were astute enough to catch everything happening inside the house. It was a birthday party. A small girl, dressed in pink, sat at the head of a table on which was a pink cake with five lit pink candles. A few other children sat around the table, and a man filmed a home video while a woman stepped forward with a wrapped box.

Slam. He was back in his house in Forks, in September. It was Bella's birthday, and he was so excited. He knew she'd love his gift. She'd said no gifts, but Edward knew she wouldn't be able to resist a visit to her mother, especially if he was going with her. Besides, if she tried to refuse them, he could always convince her. His lips curled up gently at the thought of her slightly bewildered 'dazzled' face, with her mouth fallen open just a little and the blood rushing to her cheeks as soon as she realized she'd given in.

Glancing at his watch, he smiled. Time to go get her. He ran out to his car and flew down the long drive towards Forks.

Slam. Bella was smiling as Alice advanced with a present, pausing for a moment to throw a bit of a glare at Edward. He'd ignored her request for no presents, and he wasn't sorry. He tried to hold her expression with an innocent face, but one corner of his mouth wouldn't obey him, and he finally gave up and just grinned back at her like the moonstruck calf he was. At his smile, her glare came off her face and she rolled her eyes, shook her head slightly, and turned back to Alice to take the present.

Holding the silver-wrapped box in one hand, she found one of the seams and slipped her finger underneath to open the present.

Slam. Edward saw the bead of blood and everything started moving in slow motion. He stopped breathing.

Slam. He was in front of Bella, pushing her behind him with one hand while the other stretched out in front of him towards Jasper. He was acutely aware of the sound of breaking glass and Bella's gasp as she crashed into the table.

Slam. Jasper growled and stepped forward on bent knees and the balls of his feet, carefully balanced. Edward's mind flew as a defensive growl tore from his throat. He couldn't outfight Jasper, but Alice was there already, grabbing Jasper by the waist and pulling with all her strength backwards. A moment later, the others were there, dragging him away.

Slam. The smell of antiseptic made him wrinkle his nose as he watched Carlisle sew her up and held her free hand.

Slam. Jasper running away to Alaska, feeling guilty for his momentary weakness.

Slam. Edward's guilt, knowing that it wasn't Jasper's fault, that he was the one who had made the decisions that had hurt her. That he couldn't even protect her from himself, much less other dangers. Again. Just like he couldn't in Phoenix.

Slam. Days afterwards, trying to keep up a façade of normality, and knowing he was failing miserably. Watching her sleep and desperately wondering what to do, knowing the answer but not wanting to follow through. Telling his family.

Slam. Bella, in the woods. So confused. So beautiful, even in her despair. His final touch of his lips to her forehead, then running as fast and as far as he could. The knowledge sinking into his mind and shattering heart that he could never go back, that he'd never be near her again, that'd he'd do it to keep her safe.

He jerked to a halt, already over a mile away from the house where he'd seen the birthday party. He couldn't go back. He wouldn't. He'd struggled to come to the decision to leave. Now he'd almost ruined that decision with his own selfishness.

Despairing, Edward turned around and ran back towards his lonely farmhouse.

There he sat, for a week. He didn't move, could hardly think. All he could do was stare at her picture and try to remind himself why it was so important for him to be strong. For her. For Bella. Every few days, his phone rang. He ignored it. Alice, Carlisle, Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Alice, Alice, Alice. He recognized the ring tones of his family members and didn't answer. It wasn't until the 7th day when he heard a different ringtone, one he hadn't heard since he left the family. Rosalie.

Curiosity rose for a moment, for just long enough for Edward to press the "answer" button before almost instantly regretting it.

"Edward". The voice wasn't Rosalie's, it was Alice's. Edward's finger was on its way to the 'end call' button when Alice blurted out, "Don't hang up. It's Bella."

Edward almost dropped the phone. "What is it Alice? Is she hurt? Is she alright?" Edward stood up without realizing it and rubbed his free hand agitatedly across his brow, panic building inside him. He would never survive if anything had happened to her. She was supposed to be okay. He was gone, she was free to live her life as it had been meant to be lived.

Alice's voice was high and quiet, a sign of stress from his loudest and most boisterous sister. "Edward, she's gone to Volterra."

Without pausing to think, Edward ran, leaving everything behind. His extra clothes, his CD player, Bella's things, all lay abandoned on the floor of a now empty farmhouse as Edward blurred through the forest 5 miles away.

"Alice, what happened? When did you see it? Am I going to be able to make it? How did this happen?" He spoke rapidly, urgently as he flew by the snow-covered fir trees.

"Edward, hurry."

Well, obviously, I haven't done this in a while, but I felt like picking this story back up, so here I am! I've started the next chapter already, too. :) Reviews are great!


	8. Chapter 8

Eventually, Bella disembarked from the plane and stumbled tiredly towards the ground transportation kiosk, more anxious than ever. Actually being in Rome was doing strange things to her heart. She'd been ready to join Edward's family for a long time, but now that she was maybe hours away from the transformation, her human brain was screaming at her to get on the plane and fly back to Forks, away from three days of the excruciating pain she'd felt when James had bit her. She reached one hand beneath her sleeve to rub the cool scar on her wrist anxiously, as she spoke to the woman at the counter, a petite blonde woman who assured her in accented English that the next bus that stopped at Volterra would be leaving sometime in the next two hours. Two hours? Bella could hardly stand to wait two minutes. She stepped over to an airport deli and bought a bowl of pasta, almost choking on the noodles as they made their way down her strained throat. Thirty minutes later, Bella shot out of her seat when the woman stepped out from behind the counter to lead Bella and a few other people to the bus.

Bella sat on the bus next to a wrinkled older lady from Ohio who was coming on a second honeymoon with her husband of 50 years. The two chatted pleasantly at her, and she tried to reply while avoiding most of their questions and merely explaining that she was a student on vacation. Eventually, conversation lapsed into silence as all parties gazed out the windows at the Italian countryside passing them by.

Occasional vineyards flashed by views of rows of staked out grapevines and picturesque villages clustered in the background. Hills rolled around them, and the road wove through them in a way that seemed to Bella most inefficient.

Bella closed her eyes and thought of Edward. Now that she was taking action, on her way to try to determine her own fate or once and for all, it hurt a little less to think about him. She could almost see him stepping towards her and opening his arms, so relieved and happy to be together again, no longer worried about keeping her safe from 'his kind.' She could see his eyes closing and his lips coming down to rest on the top of her head, so light she could barely feel them, while his arms wrapped around her, as tight as he could hold them, since he couldn't hurt her any more. Bella again rubbed her scar, the part of her that reminded her most of Edward- and, hopefully, her future. It was cool and white, and sometimes on Forks' rare sunny days she almost thought she could see it sparkle.

A thought of Charlie suddenly reminded her that she had yet to call her father and confirm that she'd arrived safely in Rome. Turning on her phone, she watched the powerup sequence and then blinked at the display on the front. 53 missed calls. 53? There was no way Charlie was that anxious, and even Renee… Bella flipped to her calls log and found that all of the calls were from the same person. Immediately her phone started vibrating and a new display popped up. Incoming call from Alice Cullen.

Bella drew in a breath and answered the call.

"Hello, Alice."

"Hello, Alice? HELLO, ALICE? You randomly decide to fly to Italy and head straight towards the most dangerous group of individuals in the world, and when I finally get ahold of you after calling you every five minutes for about the last DAY, you say, "Hello, Alice?" Bella had never heard the girl this angry before- there was a distinctly hysterical edge to her voice.

"Alice, listen, I"

"No, Bella, you listen," Alice interrupted. "I thought we talked about this! You're supposed to be waiting in Forks for us to figure this out! I can't believe you'd do such a stupid, irresponsible thing as this!"

Alice's voice accelerated as she spoke, until Bella could scarcely make out the last few words.

"Alice," Bella stated, trying to speak quietly and calmly enough that she wouldn't attract any attention on the half-empty bus, "if you don't be quiet and listen to me right now, I'm going to hang up."

Silence came from the other end of the connection, and Bella continued. "Look. I'm tired of waiting around for your brother to decide that he's ruining both of our lives by what he's doing. He's the strongest person I know, and if he's decided it's best to stay away, he's not going to give up and come crawling home. The only way this is going to be resolved is if I can convince him he isn't going to hurt me, that he's wrong, and I don't see another way. I'm going to Volterra."

"Bella, please," Alice begged, "Don't do anything rash. I got ahold of him today. He's on his way there right now, and Carlisle's flying in too. I know we can figure this out, just please don't go to the Volturi."

Bella's breath left her for a moment at this statement. He was on his way to Volterra? But Bella wouldn't let her mind run away with her heart. Alice was a good person, but wouldn't have any compunctions with lying to her until one of the other Cullens, like Carlisle, could come and pick her up in Volterra and drop her safely back home in Forks.

"I'm not that gullible, Alice," she commented, trying to keep the flying hope out of her voice. "I'm not going to wait to go to the Volturi so that you can send Carlisle to come save me from myself. If Edward wants to stop this, he's going to have to call me himself. I'd suggest that if you're really in contact with him, you call him and tell him that."

Edward had never run so fast in his existence. Alice hadn't been able to tell him if he'd be fast enough- it was going to be so close that every tiny decision people made was changing the future. She was already on a plane, but the exact timeframe wasn't clear. One minute here to go to the bathroom slowed Bella down, her bus passing one car and making it past a traffic light sped her up. Searching one building for the Volturi led to nothing and more time for Edward, searching another first would lead her straight to them. Alice didn't know how the girl had figured out she needed to go to Volterra, but she could see that she was headed there and that if Edward didn't make it in time, the consequences could be dire. All Edward could do was run, as fast as he could, to the private airport just out of Moscow where Alice had paid a pilot to fly him to Italy on the fastest private plane the Cullen's considerable money could buy. The snowy landscape was a blur of white as he rushed past it, but it didn't seem fast enough.

He'd arrived at the small airport and paused for a few seconds to gather himself into a somewhat human state of being before rushing- at an unbearably human pace- to the pilot and announcing his presence. Within 15 minutes, the plane was lifting off the end of the single runway, and Edward was sitting in the back of the plane in a wide leather seat, declining a drink from a stewardess who looked unreasonably disappointed when he informed her that no, he would not be needing anything today. He reached into his pocket, anxious to hear from Alice, who'd told him that she'd call as soon as she had news. A little too anxious. Edward pulled the satellite phone from the pocket, the screen fizzling out to black around the crushed imprints left by his too-hasty fingers. Edward groaned, knowing that with no other phones that would function on a plane, he was officially incommunicado until he could get to the Bologna airport. Bella would be in Italy by that time, probably well on the way to Volterra. Edward's mind was a more tangled mess of emotion, planning, and complete panic than it ever had been, and for the next several hours, there was nothing he could do.

A/N: Ooooh. Don't you hate it when your phone breaks? And in this case, it's not just the phone's life at risk. DUN DUN DUN…. (Also, I felt like posting this as its own chapter, even though I anticipate posting the next chapter at the same time. Just seemed like a good break place.) Let me know what you think, guys!


	9. Chapter 9

Alice Cullen was going crazy. Well, that might not be a fair statement. That assumed that she hadn't already arrived at crazy and passed well beyond into the realms of completely-freaked-out-hysterics. If it weren't for Jasper sitting next to her, holding her hand and doing his best to keep her calm, she would be bouncing though the walls from the nervous energy.

Alice's eyes shot to the cell phone sitting on the table in front of her. Before the first tone could start sounding, the phone was answered and held to Alice's ear. "Carlisle," she affirmed.

"Yes. I made it to London, and my next flight leaves in five minutes, but you know Bella has hours of a head start on us. She's a smart girl, and I don't think the Volturi are going to make it too difficult to find themselves if she makes it to Volterra before we can do anything. "

"I know, Carlisle," the girl responded anxiously, "and now Edward isn't picking up again. His phone keeps going straight to voicemail! I finally got ahold of Bella, and she isn't going to stop unless she hears it from Edward. She thinks I'm just trying to stall her off to wait for you to get there!"

"Well, she does have a point," the doctor inserted, a wry edge to his voice. Then his voice turned serious. "Alice, I can contact the Volturi. Can you see what would happen if I contacted them and tried to get them to refuse any request Bella might make of them? I'm not going to be able to reach her before she gets to them, and we don't know if Edward will."

Alice closed her eyes and looked into her mind along Carlisle's path of action. In brief flashes, she saw him calling Aro and the Volturi's eyebrows raising in surprise before drawing together in concern. Then, a meeting with Caius and Marcus in a stone room with three chairs gathered in a triangle. Then, Bella walking into an audience room. Suddenly, the stream of visions was interrupted with a flash of Edward holding Bella in his arms in what looked like a hotel room. The image remained for a moment, then flashed back to the Volturi, then back to Edward and Bella.

"Carlisle, I can't see." Alice would be crying if she were human. "It's like trying to listen to a fuzzy radio- it keeps flipping between different stations, and I just can't catch what's going on, and I can't see, Carlisle, I can't see, I can't-" Alice panicked beyond even Jasper's ability to control at the powerlessness. She had spent most of her first life powerless and unseeing, and the idea of being that way again was paralyzing.

"Alice." Carlisle's voice was sympathetic and calm, and helped pull her back to the present. "Alice, you need to calm down. Just keep looking, and let me know if you see anything else. I'm going to hold off on calling the Volturi. I don't want to give them information they don't need to know. Just call me if you get anything more definite, okay?" Alice murmured an affirmation before handing the phone to Esme at her adoptive father's request. The motherly vampire's face was drawn in concern, a deep furrow formed between her eyes and wrinkles creasing her forehead. The two spoke quietly for a moment before Carlisle hung up to make his connecting flight, leaving the house in Alaska silent and tense once more.

Edward's flight was descending towards the sunny Bologna airport, and his terror was building. If his heart still beat, it would be racing, and the still silence in his chest made the moment seem all the more wrong, reminded him why all this was even happening. Because of him. But really, how could Bella do a thing like this? Didn't she realize how important it was to him for her to be safe? Didn't she understand that he'd left to protect her from monsters, so that she would never have to risk being hurt by one of them or losing her soul as he had? No, his coolly logical mind told him, she might not realize that. After all, he had done his very best to convince her that he was leaving for his own selfish reasons. And now she might die because of him. Because he had left. Edward felt sick, but shook his head to clear his thoughts.

Volterra was not a particularly large city, but he couldn't afford to lose any time trying to find Bella, especially when he couldn't rely on listening for her thoughts. He would have to swipe a phone and get in contact with Alice as soon as he could. Just then, the plane bumped onto the tarmac. A few minutes later, Edward was running-at human pace- through the airport terminal, pausing for only a moment to grab a long black business coat, scarf, and hat from a kiosk and quickly hand a few hundred dollar bills at a clerk, who stared at him, dumbfounded. Moving at human pace was crippling, but the airport was full of crowds who were already staring at the handsome man running down the hall. He couldn't attract any more attention, not in Italy. A forced audience with one of the Volturi's 'regional managers' was not something he had time for at the moment. Before he could leave, though, he needed a phone, and he needed to get one in a relatively non-obtrusive manner. Slowing himself even further, he walked at a casual pace past a businessman emerging from a flight gate and slipped a hand into the man's suitjacket as he bumped into him slightly. Nothing. He repeated the move twice more before his hand met the smooth surface of a phone screen. He carefully slipped it out of the unsuspecting man's pocket and into his own.

Pulling on the coat and wrapping the scarf around the part of his face his customary sunglasses wouldn't protect, Edward shoved on the hat and quickly moved out into the sunny parking lot, where he promptly began a precursory search for the fastest car there.

In ten minutes, he was behind the wheel of a –borrowed- car with 'his' new phone booting up. He was already 10 miles from the airport, and getting farther every minute. At this point, he knew he was traveling faster than Bella- he doubted too many bus drivers made the Rome to Volterra run at 190mph- but she might be too far ahead of him to make up the distance. As soon as the phone flashed on, he punched in Alice's number.

Bella was in Volterra. Well, sort of. She'd arrived at the city, but the bus was still making its way through the city streets towards the destination at del Piazzo di Cascata di Magdalena. The bus driver had just announced that he thought they would be arriving in about two minutes. Fortunately for her, the first place she'd decided on looking for the Volturi, the Casa di Moretti, was only one street over. She could be meeting with them in minutes.

Of course, she could also be writhing in the floor in pain (if she was lucky) or bled dry on the floor (if she wasn't), but Bella was trying not to think about that part.

In Alaska, well over 4000 miles away, Alice Cullen gasped, her tiny hand flying up to her open mouth as her eyes momentarily glossed over. "Jasper," she whispered, "She's there, and she's going straight to them. How does she know?" At that moment, her eyes widened, and she reached for the phone on the table moments before it began ringing.

"Edward, you have to call her. Now! Tell her not to go, she won't listen to me, and she's almost there!"

A/N: Wow. Kind of messy to write- hopefully not too confusing to read, given the several concurrent timelines, and hopefully not too much of a continuity nightmare! Let me know what you think, and don't forget to add an alert so you'll be notified when the next chapter hits!


	10. Chapter 10

…"Edward, you have to call her. Now! Tell her not to go, she won't listen to me, and she's almost there!"

Edward hung up instantly, fingers already dialing Bella's number- the number he'd entered into his phone so many times over the last weeks, never hitting send. Now he held the phone to his ear with one hand and negotiated the winding Italian highway in the other.

The phone rang once. The phone rang twice. During the middle of the third ring, the sound cut off.

Bella was off the bus, walking nervously towards the Casa di Moretti and trying not to trip on the uneven flagstones when her phone rang. Digging in the small bag she had brought, she pulled the phone out and glanced at the screen, surprised to see not Alice's name, but an unrecognized number from an area code she didn't know. Debating for a moment, Bella paused by a stone bench and sat down, answering the phone. "Hello?"

"Bella."

It was one word, spoken so quickly she could barely make it out, but it was all she needed. If she hadn't already been sitting down, she had no doubt she would have fallen over. Her legs started shaking, and she could barely hold the phone up as the blood rushed away from her face.

"Edward." Her voice, she knew, was breathless, and without his vampire hearing, she doubted he would have been able to hear her at all. Her mind whirled, slammed by a torrent of memories at the mere sound of his voice. She took a deep breath in an attempt to compose herself. What was she supposed to do now? She hadn't thought Alice was actually in contact with Edward. Her thoughts didn't have the chance to get any farther. A strange choking sound issued from the other side of the connection.

"Bella," Edward's voice cracked, something she'd never heard before, as he repeated her name. "Bella, please. Don't go any closer- I'm on my way, and I swear we can find a way through whatever is going on that doesn't involve the Volturi. Please, Bella. I'll be there in about an hour, please, please don't go to them."

Bella's mouth dropped open a little bit. Never had she heard him sound like this- he was actually begging her for something, sounding more upset than she'd ever heard him. Angry, she'd heard. Regretful, she'd heard, but this? She had never even imagined Edward could sound so…terrified.

"Edward," Bella fought to keep her voice steady, a losing battle that didn't really surprise her. "Calm down. If you're in Volterra within the next hour and a half, I won't do anything- yet." After all, Carlisle couldn't possibly be that close. They would figure this out once and for all. If he still cared, he would have to accept that their current situation was impossible, and that he had to respect her right to choose a life with him- a real life with him, not the cautious, impermanent relationship they'd shared before he left.

If he didn't care and he was just rushing here to keep himself from being responsible for her death… well, that was his right, too, and Bella would send him on his way and go back to Charlie to live out the rest of her life in gray, monotonous solitude. She thought she could probably do it. She'd gotten stronger without him to rely on. There was something about having loved and lost that forced you to either learn to lean on yourself or fall over. Other people could help, yes- like Jake and Charlie and Angela- but nobody could replace what had been lost- you just had to learn to live without it. You might never heal, but you could live without a full heart, couldn't you?

"Thank you, Bella." His voice was full of relief. "I'll have Alice reserve a room for you at La Ricca. It should be booked under your name by the time you can get there. I'll be there as soon as I can." He proceeded to tell her the address of the hotel. For a moment there was silence. Bella didn't know what to say, and she needed some time to think before he got there. She'd need to be in the best mental condition possible to hope to argue with Edward, and trying to formulate a coherent case was going to be impossible while on the phone with him.

"Well, I guess I'll see you soon, then," she said awkwardly, hating the fact that she had to end the call. "Bye."

"Goodbye, Bella." A whisper of static and then she hung up, trying to keep the irrational tears out of her eyes. He would be here soon. She'd be seeing him, speaking to him face to face, within an hour and a half, and she had things to accomplish between now and then. Flagging down a taxi, Bella made her way to the hotel, deep in thought.

Edward nearly crashed his car into a bus full of tourists when Bella answered the phone. To hear her voice saying his name again seemed to him the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard. And now she was waiting for him to get there. Granted, he was still worried about what would happen when he got there, but the Volturi were off the table. Edward had no intentions of ever letting Bella get close enough to those monsters to let them touch her. Let Bella make whatever plans she wanted. Once he was there, he would make sure that whatever happened was for the best.

_For the best,_ echoed a sad voice in his head. That was why he'd left, why they couldn't be together. Why any of this disaster had even happened. Edward felt a stab of angry guilt that even after trying to leave like he knew he must, he was still putting Bella in danger. Or was it even about him? Why on earth had she gone to Volterra? Alice was convinced it was because she still loved him, but was that even possible? Maybe she just wanted to live forever. Maybe she'd fallen so hard for someone else that she wanted to make it possible for the two of them to spend an eternity together. An image flashed into his mind of the Black boy and Bella, arms wrapped around each other, glittering in the afternoon sunlight that filtered through a canopy of spring leaves as they both remained forever young.

And what could he hope for, really? Even their phone call, wonderful as it had been to hear her voice, was awkward- stilted. "Goodbye, Bella," was all he could say to her out loud, his post script "I love you" whispered so softly she'd never hear it. He called Alice and delivered the message about the hotel room, then hung up, too wound up to talk. Edward drove on, staring impatiently at the black road ahead of him as he watched the mile markers and signs flash by. 50km to Volterra. 30km. 15km.

Bella arrived at the hotel and rolled her eyes. Of course Edward would choose a place like this. Bella wasn't even going to ask how much a night's stay cost. A beautiful garden path led her under a wrought-iron archway and to a front desk in a charming-and expensive looking- villa. It seemed rather small for a hotel, though. Approaching the well-dressed man who stood behind the desk, she hesitantly pulled out her Italian phrasebook and flipped to the section on "lodging."

The man's dark brown eyes flicked up and down Bella, taking in her wrinkled shirt and fuzzy hair, both suffering from her hectic travel schedule over the last few days. His glance paused for a minute on the phrasebook in her hand, and as she reached the desk, he said- in slightly accented English, "Good day, Miss. Welcome to La Ricca. Do you have a reservation?" The end of the sentence sounded a little doubtful, and Bella could hardly blame the man. She seriously doubted that she currently fit the poster for the guests that typically graced an establishment of this caliber.

"Um, yes." Bella's voice was dry- when was the last time she'd had anything to drink? Lunch, and now it was almost five o'clock. The man's eyes rose slightly in surprise, though the expression lasted for only an instant before being replaced with one much more solicitous. "Under the name of Isabella Swan?"

Not even glancing at the computer next to him, the man warmly addressed her, "Ah, yes, Miss Swan. We are so pleased you could make La Ricca your choice. If you'll follow me, I'll take you back to your villa.

Villa? As in a house? Of course. Edward wouldn't get a room in a hotel when Italian villas were available for rent. Mutely, Bella followed the man outside and up a short path to one of several villas nestled into the valley. He handed her a key, told her to please contact him if there was anything he could assist her with, and left.

The villa was gorgeous. The cream colored walls were stucco-covered and vines trailed a trellis in front of the door. Bella turned the key in the lock and opened the door, stepping in and staring. It was like something from one of the travel magazines she'd looked at as a child- burgundy leather couches sat on a plush cream colored carpet in the front room, surrounding a TV that only partially blocked the view out of a large window that surveyed a beautiful garden and the rolling hills beyond. Putting her bag down on the couch, Bella walked down the hall, past several landscape paintings, and a beautiful kitchen, and looked at the bathroom (a full Jacuzzi and… was that a sauna?) and the bedroom. Or bedrooms, rather, as there were three. The first was decorated in shades of green, with pictures of summer vineyards hung on the walls around the king size bed. The second was in similar light shades to the rest of the house, and the third was promptly where she decided she'd be staying. The bed was covered in a deep blue silky-looking comforter that contrasted beautifully with the delicate white wood of the bedframe. The carpet was a lighter shade of blue, and the curtains were just a puff of cerulean gauze. A small vanity sat in one corner, a ladies sitting chair in another. It was the only one of the rooms Bella'd seen that didn't have a TV, but somehow, that seemed just right in this house.

Bella felt a rush of affection for Edward. She often had a difficult time with the Cullens spending money on her- it seemed so unfair, because there was nothing she could do for them in return, but she had found so far that when they did, the results always things she ended up loving. If she got nothing out of this trip but this experience, at least she would go home having seen two beautiful things- the villa and Edward.

Edward. Bella glanced at the front screen of her phone. He would be here within the next 45 minutes. Bella rushed to the front room and grabbed her bag before hurrying to the bathroom to brush her teeth and change her clothes and then to the vanity in her room to make herself look presentable. Although that, Bella recognized grimly, was going to be a job and a half. Her face was pale from lack of sleep and the stress of the last few days, except for the two red beacons on her cheeks. Rummaging through her bag, Bella dabbed some concealer under her eyes to lessen the dark circles that had formed there over the last few weeks and put some lip gloss on lips that were dry from too long on airplanes.

Convinced that she was as good as she was going to get, Bella glanced at her phone again- forty minutes, and sat down on one of the couches in the front room to wait. She glanced briefly at the TV, but realized that she'd never be able to be distracted by it and left it off. She glanced at her phone again. Thirty-nine minutes. Bella heard a noise outside the front door and jumped up, walking over to the door so quickly she almost tripped over an ornamental table. She arrived there just as the front door opened to reveal him.

A/N: So, I know that the implication that Jake could ever turn into a vampire is a little weird, but keep in mind that at this point, neither Edward nor Bella know he's a werewolf. Edward knows about the Quileute werewolves, but they haven't been around for quite a while, due to the lack of hostile vampires in the Forks area. Also, he's not in a mental place where he's being entirely logical at this moment. That's my explanation, anyhoo. Anyways, thoughts? Please review!


	11. Chapter 11

Edward arrived at La Ricca in a squeal of expensive brake pads on the asphalt driveway, tossing the keys to 'his' black sports car to a wide-eyed valet before checking in at the front desk and retrieving a key to the villa Alice had reserved in his and Bella's names. The man at the desk walked him to the gate at the front of the villa, painfully slowly, then nodded respectfully, bid him farewell, and turned up the path back to the office. Edward walked to the front door, emotions so mixed up he hardly knew what he was feeling. Nervousness, fear, excitement, regret, hope, love… he felt as if he were flying, but he wasn't quite sure if he was on the rise or plummeting towards the ground. He unlocked the door and swung it open.

There she was. Standing, not two feet in front of him, eyes wide with surprise, mouth opening- to say something? Just out of shock? To tell him to go away? Edward didn't care.

In no time at all, she was in his arms. He forgot about all his determination to assess the situation with a detached and dispassionate manner- there could never be a dispassionate anything where she was involved, not for him.

He held her as tightly as he dared, breathing in her sweet scent- the scent that had haunted him since the day he met her in biology. And then, in a gesture that would have stopped his heart if it still beat, she wrapped her arms around him and lay her face on his chest. So, this was what people meant when they said that absence made the heart grow fonder. He had never loved Bella as much as he did in that minute, when after separation, danger, and disaster, he held her in his arms and she- miraculously- held him back.

After a few minutes, Edward adjusted his arms and picked up the girl, carrying her over to one of the couches, where he sat them both down. He gazed at her, mesmerized by the sight of this beautiful human. Her face was flushed, her expression dazzled and bewildered and her long, dark hair mussed. Her eyes- her beautiful eyes- were dark brown heaven, staring up at him in an expression he couldn't trust himself to read.

A separate part of Edward's mind noticed the subtle differences since the last time he'd seen her. She felt lighter than she had before, and his sharp eyes could make out the concealer beneath her eyes.

He'd set her down next to him, but not quite touching, just in case she didn't want that. After all, could she really want to have anything to do with him after everything? Now his heart would be speeding up if it could, as she reached tentatively for his hand. He met her halfway and twined their fingers together. Bliss. No matter what happened after today, he would always have this moment of beautiful, joyous bliss.

* * *

><p>Bella could hardly believe it was real. As soon as the door had opened, she'd gotten a glance of Edward- perfect pale face, eyes darker than she'd ever seen them, an expression she couldn't begin to interpret- and then she'd been enveloped in his arms. In that moment, she knew that this trip to Italy had been worth every cent, every worried thought, and every angry word Alice would have for her the next time they met. Edward was worth it all, and more.<p>

When he brought her over and set her down on the couch, though, he sat a little apart from her. Bella's mind was still spinning, but she'd seen the uncertainty flash in his eyes, just for a moment. Maybe he wasn't sure what was happening either. Maybe right now, after everything, they'd finally come to a point of equality. Neither of them knew what was going on. Neither had ever been able to know the other's thoughts, and especially now, it left them mutually unsure of where they stood.

Convincing herself she had nothing to lose, Bella moved her hand toward his, After all, he couldn't object to that after reaching out to her as soon as he saw her, could he? And he didn't. In a flash, he was holding her hand and Bella reveled in the simple contact and the sense of completeness she'd been missing for so long.

Mentally, Bella knew she needed to talk to Edward; that as wonderful as this moment was, it wasn't solving any of their problems. She still didn't even know if he wanted to solve their problems. Maybe he'd just come to keep her from going to the Volturi and he'd soon be on his way. Still, at that moment, all she could do was stare into his dark eyes. After a few minutes, though, she managed to muster her thoughts into something resembling order, and as soon as she could think at all, she realized that she had to know.

She wanted to put off this, but found that her desire-no, her need- to know the truth was insatiable. She had to know if everything he'd told her that night was true. She had to know if she was just forming new memories to miss, or if there was something here for her to fight for.

"Edward," she whispered, voice shaking so much she could hardly get the words out, "I need you to do something." Her voice strengthened as she kept talking. She deserved this answer. "I need you to look me in the eye and tell me that what you said that day in the forest is true."

His angel's face crumbled at her words, into an expression of sorrow that seemed to contain all the regrets of a world. Looking her straight in the eye, he said, quietly, "Bella, I can't do that." The words continued, spilling out of him urgently. "Bella. Bella, I lied. I'm so sorry. I love you so much, but I couldn't stay, and I couldn't keep you safe, and I wanted your life to be perfect"- his voice broke off, almost choking, and he took his hand out of hers, turning away and staring out the window in an expression of such pain that it almost broke Bella's heart again.

She could hardly believe it, even though it was what she'd been hoping for so hard it almost hurt. He had lied. Bella's heart sang. No matter why he'd done it, if there was still love, there was hope for them. Cautiously, she moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his cold, still figure. "Edward, I love you."

* * *

><p>"Edward, I love you." And then, even quieter, but spoken very definitely, "I could never have a perfect life without you." Disbelief. Shock. Hope, fear, and overwhelming elation. Edward knew that he was supposed to be rooting for Bella to move on, have a human life without him, but he couldn't help the joy her words brought him. How could he? She was the only woman he would ever love, and she loved him. A line came into his head: <em>This is true love. You think this happens every day?<em>

There would be more to say. There was still an insurmountable barrier between them, but at that moment, Edward refused to let that thought intrude. All he wanted was to hold Bella here, forever.

She leaned on him, one hand clasped in his, the other touching his cheek while his other arm wrapped around her waist.

And that's how Carlisle found them when he arrived at the villa four hours later.

A/N: Well, that was pretty short and mushy, wasn't it? Even managed to slip in a Princess Bride quote. Good thing I'm fully cootie vaccinated! Review and let me know what you thought (too sticky sweet? just right?)! Please let me know what you thought! To everyone who's reviewed up to this point- thank you so much! Ya'all are great!


	12. Chapter 12

Bella was asleep, resting peacefully on Edward's shoulder when Carlisle arrived. Edward had draped the throw on the back of the couch over the girl, and her expression was one of complete peace.

_Thank goodness. Edward, I'm so grateful you got here in time. _

Carlisle looked as close to disheveled as it was possible for a vampire to get. His shirt was actually wrinkled, something Edward rarely saw on his responsible father-figure. His were dark, signaling the hunting trip he'd had to skip to chase Bella down. As he saw the two of them on the couch, though, his carriage straightened and relaxed.

Edward nodded at his father's relieved thoughts, looking back down at the sleeping angel in his arms. He couldn't believe he'd come so close to losing her… Shooing those painful, anxious thoughts away, Edward replied quietly, "I am as well. Carlisle, I haven't actually called home to tell Alice that everything's okay. I know she will have seen it, but would you be willing to just call and tell her that? I don't want to wake up Bella. I don't think she's been sleeping enough recently."

Carlisle's medically trained eyes swept over Bella's sleeping form, noting the same stress signs Edward had seen. Lines creased his forehead at the sight. _Yes, I think you're right. I'll just step into the other room and call Esme._

From the other room, Edward could hear his father's quiet murmuring on the phone and his mother's relieved response. "Oh, Carlisle, thank goodness she's okay. I don't think Edward would have ever recovered if the Volturi had…"her voice trailed off. "Take care of them, Carlisle. Bring them home safe to us."

* * *

><p>On Edward's shoulder, Bella's eyes flickered open. The girl noted with surprise Carlisle entering the room and sliding a phone into the pocket of his slacks. "Carlisle? When did you get here?" Her voice was rough with sleep, and she coughed to clear it.<p>

"Hello, Bella. As you know, Alice sent me to help out with your situation- I arrived a few minutes ago."

Their "situation." Leave it to Carlisle to find the most diplomatic way to put it. Now that Bella's mind was clearing, though, she was remembering that she was indeed still in a bit of a "situation," and she was grateful for Carlisle's presence. Though she would be perfectly happy to freeze this moment in Edward's arms and live in it forever, sooner or later she would need to resolve the future, and she had the feeling that the logical suasion of his respected father figure would be an important element of convincing Edward that he didn't need to try to live without her. Yes, the decisions would have to be made between her and Edward, but having Carlisle around couldn't hurt, could it? Maybe he could help her understand the basis of Edward's seemingly irrational views.

"Thank you for coming, Carlisle," she spoke to the older vampire, "I hope you can help Edward and I figure this out."

Edward grimaced slightly at these words. He didn't want to think about anything past right now, didn't want to consider any future that didn't have him and Bella in it- together.

Bella yawned, then turned her face to Edward's. "Human minute?" she asked, thinking back to times past when she'd made the same request. A small, crooked smile lit Edward's face as he obliged, letting go of her hand.

* * *

><p>While Bella was in the shower, Edward talked quietly to Carlisle. The two hadn't seen each other since shortly after the Cullens left Forks, and each were glad that the situation that brought them back together was not as dire as they had feared. However, there was still a tension pervading the villa. Nobody thought they were out of the woods yet.<p>

"Carlisle, I just don't know what to do," Edward said with a grimace, rubbing his temples- a human stress habit he'd never broken. "I don't think I can stay away again, not with her knowing that I love her, and not knowing that she still thinks she loves me, however impossible that is." He sat slumped in a delicate chair at the dark wooden table in the kitchen, elbows on the table and head in his hands.

Carlisle reclined easily in a chair opposite him, his expression one of paternal concern. Usually, he merely thought what he had for Edward to hear. He only spoke to his son for the benefit of others present or when he was saying something he really wanted Edward to consider. "Edward, you know how I see the situation. I can't believe that we've lost our souls. I never would have changed you or any of the others if I did. Do you really think I would do that to you, to Esme?" His expression was pained. It hurt that Edward believed he'd willingly turned him into a monster. "I see so much goodness in all of you; I can't understand how you don't see it in yourself. Even this attempt to keep away from Bella -whether or not I agree with it- is an incredibly selfless thing to do. I still think that if she wants it, you should change her and let her have the life she wants- a life with you."

Edward glared at the table, feeling completely hopeless. Rationally, he knew there was no way for him and Bella to have the kind of relationship he wanted for them without her becoming a vampire. They would always be divided, even more as she continued to age and he did not. She'd confronted him about it before, and she was right. But the life that she wanted wasn't a life, was it? Besides, she was only eighteen. How could she know that this half-life was what she wanted for the rest of forever?

Unbidden, a picture of Carlisle and Esme came to his mind. It was their wedding, which had taken place only a few months after Carlisle had changed her. Edward had watched with some interest as his father figure and companion had cared for and taught the new vampire. He'd heard Carlisle's thoughts marveling at her beauty, seen the soft, protective look in his eye as he watched her, heard him laughing from the other room at something she'd said. Now Edward stood wearing a suit and a boutonniere as Esme, beautiful in a flowing white dress with her caramel curls spilling down her back beneath the sheer white veil, walked down the aisle toward Carlisle. He thought of his them, of how happy together they'd been that day, and every day since. Never a word, an action, or (he knew) a single thought of regret from either of them. Yes, they'd disagreed, but they'd always overcome. Esme had never regretted that Carlisle had changed her. Carlisle never regretted marrying her. Honestly, Edward had never witnessed a better relationship, and he'd seen lots of relationships. He thought of how much they cared about each of the members of their family, how worried Esme had been about him until he found Bella, how happy she was at his happiness. Could that really be wrong?

But wouldn't they have been just as happy, or happier, if they'd been able to live out their lives growing and watching their children and grandchildren grow and change? _Of course they wouldn't_ commented the logical part of Edward's mind. _They never would have met._ Furthermore, he realized, they both would have had very different lives if they had remained mortal. Carlisle would have been shackled by his father's and his community's expectations that he live his life persecuting the evil spawn of demons, not free to develop his medical talents. Esme would have remained married to her abusive first husband, maybe never been able to have any children anyways, maybe just reliving over and over the tragedy of her first stillbirth.

But that was how their lives were supposed to be, wasn't it? Edward's mind whirled in confusion, as he tried to reconcile his parent's happiness together with his belief that they should have lived their lives centuries apart, never even having met.

Eventually, in a hope of better organizing his thoughts, he grabbed a notebook stamped with La Ricca's emblem and started to write his thoughts out, pen flying across the paper.

His contemplation was interrupted by a ringing phone- Carlisle's. The older man's eyes widened at the caller ID, and Edward immediately looked into his mind. _Aro._ Leader, if they had one, of the Volturi.

A/N: Well, there's that chapter! I've got more written and coming at you soon. Please read and review, and thanks so much to everyone who's submitted their comments. Ya'all are great!


	13. Chapter 13

Edward immediately flipped the notebook closed and left it and the pen sitting on the table, turning his attention to Carlisle.

"Hello, Aro," Carlisle said cheerfully. Edward could detect the slight stress in his voice, but hopefully the other vampire couldn't. "What occasions this call from my old friend?"

From the other end, Edward heard Aro's voice. It was as bright and non-threatening as he'd always sounded in Carlisle's memories. The voice contrasted starkly with Edward's knowledge of the ancient vampire's vast power- and absolute lack of fear of using it.

"Carlisle, my friend! One of my contacts in Bologna called me yesterday and said that they had seen a gold-eye in the airport! I was hoping you had come to visit me, but my friend's description didn't seem to match you. Can you shed any light on the situation?" Carlisle quickly looked over to Edward. _Well, what do I tell him? You know of his powers- he doesn't usually make people touch him unless he's feeling suspicious of something, but it's best to stay as close to the truth as possible. If I say that we're not in Italy and he finds out contrary…. Things could go very badly." _

Curtly, Edward nodded, gesturing for Carlisle to go on with whatever version of their story he found most appropriate. He trusted Carlisle, and the man had known Aro for several centuries. Without being near enough to be able to read his thoughts, Edward couldn't hope to deal with Aro as well as Carlisle could.

"Yes, Aro- I am actually in town, although I think the person your friend saw must have been my son Edward. He arrived slightly after I did. When I decided to visit Volterra, he decided to accompany me, so I've been waiting for his arrival. He's been a little anxious because of some problems with his girlfriend, so he was excited to come out here."

Edward raised his eyebrows skeptically at this interpretation of his hectic arrival in Bologna. Hopefully Aro's contact hadn't gone into too much detail about that.

Aro quickly informed Carlisle that he and Edward must come and stay as guests. Carlisle declined, commenting that they had already made arrangements, but thanked him for the offer. "Well, when are you coming to visit?"

Again, Carlisle looked to Edward. _He'll expect you to come, too. We'll have to leave Bella alone. How long do you need before we leave?_ He muted the phone so Edward could answer him vocally.

"Carlisle, I can't just leave her here! I've got to get her somewhere safe first. We're practically on their doorstep here!" Carlisle nodded in agreement.

"I'll tell him we'll be by in the morning, that we need to hunt tonight. I don't want to make him suspicious- if we came to Italy to see him, we wouldn't be putting it off for anything unnecessary." Edward agreed, and Carlisle told Aro to expect their arrival early the next morning, after they'd had a chance to hunt.

Carlisle hung up the phone, and at almost the same instant, the bathroom door opened and shut. A moment later, Bella appeared in the kitchen, dressed in fresh clothes and with her dark hair dripping water down her back as she pulled a comb through it.

"Who was on the phone?" she asked curiously. Carlisle glanced at Edward uncomfortably. _It's your decision what you tell her, Edward. I, personally, would recommend the truth._ That stung Edward a little, but he knew the comment was well deserved and well intentioned. After all, one of the main reasons they were all in Italy to begin with was because he'd refused to tell Bella the truth. Rapidly, Edward made the decision to tell her everything. He was tired of lying, and she didn't deserve it from him. It might make things more complicated, but at least he wouldn't ever have to explain why he'd hidden it from her.

Edward pulled out a chair next to him for Bella to sit down in, and when she did, he pulled it right next to him, wanting to keep her close for as long as he could, especially since he knew now he'd have to leave her alone. He took her free hand and began explaining the situation to her.

* * *

><p>Bella felt herself getting edgy as Edward spoke. Yes, she'd been ready to go ask a favor of the world's most dangerous organization, but she'd planned on lying specifically to protect the Cullens. When Edward explained to her the power of the ancient vampire, Bella's mind went momentarily blank before she almost started hyperventilating. He would have known! He would have found out about the Cullens as soon as he touched her. She would have been the downfall of all of them. Alice. Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie… and Edward. They'd all have been seen as guilty. Edward, not pinpointing the exact cause of her panic, simply rubbed circles on her shaking back and watched her with some concern until she pulled herself together again.<p>

What if something about her came out during Edward and Carlisle's visit? Bella was partly worried about herself, but much more concerned because she remembered all too well what Edward had told her after her close call with James- how he would have gone to the Volturi and threatened to expose vampires as a means of ensuring his death. And yet, she realized, there was nothing she could do. Nothing but do exactly what Edward wanted her to do, which for once seemed to actually be the most reasonable course of action- keep her head down and stay well hidden so that no whisper of her made it to dangerous ears. That way, she'd be safe until Edward and Carlisle could come back without raising suspicions.

An hour later, Bella was well away from Volterra, booked into a hotel under a false name. Edward wouldn't come into the hotel with her, knowing that the more places he was seen with Bella, the less safe she would be in Italy. There was no way to know where the Volturi were watching. The sun had set hours ago, and the two sat behind tinted windows, not speaking. Carlisle hadn't come with them to the hotel, deciding it was best if he didn't know where Bella was. Now they sat side by side, both hands clasped together, looking at each other.

"Bella," he spoke quietly, "Please, be careful. Please, just stay here and don't do anything rash. I promise I will come back for you. I promise I will keep you safe." He gave her a cell phone. "I'll call you when it's over, or if anything happens. Don't worry… It shouldn't be much later than noon tomorrow."

Bella nodded, not knowing what to say. Terror gripped her harder than it had when she'd been heading to the Volturi herself. _I guess this is what people mean about love bringing out the best in you, _she mused; _I care more about his safety than I ever could about my own. _"Edward, "she spoke seriously, "be safe." Taking her hands out of his, she moved them to his face. She pressed her lips gently to his forehead, then pulled her face back. As their eyes met, they whispered together, "I love you." Tearing her eyes away from his, she reached quickly for the door, knowing that if she didn't leave now, she'd never escape his eyes. Grabbing her bag, she opened the door and got out of the car, turning away quickly, not trusting herself to look back. As she walked away, though, she heard him quietly call after her. "I love you, Bella." She smiled as she raised one hand to her eye to wipe away the single tear that had escaped. She entered the hotel and heard almost immediately the loud revving of an expensive engine as Edward drove away.

A/N: So, I know it's been a while since I've updated, but I actually have over 15000 words written beyond where the last chapter ends. However, I'm not entirely sure I'm going to use them, though, and I didn't want to post anything I don't want to go with. So, bear with me as I try to figure out where to take this story- and please review to let me know your thoughts!


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